The Logic of “Saving Just One Life”

The president and vice president have both repeatedly urged that their gun control ideas should be enacted because “if it saves one life, it’s worth trying”. Beneath the president’s Clintonesque lip-biting and soaring, emotional tone, the suggestion is embarrassingly sophomoric. So, in the same vein I present here my suggestions for saving far more than ONE life.

Firearms homicide and accidents account for approximately 17,000 deaths each year, roughly 400 of those are rifles and shotguns. I’m not counting suicides with firearms because, to be frank, if someone wants to kill him or herself they will find a way, gun or not. They are tragic, sure, but I don’t particularly care about those numbers.

Car Accidents
Deaths resulting from motor vehicle accidents, roughly 42,000 per year, are the number one cause of death for children 5-14 and young people 15-24 and it ranks number three among children under age five. Clearly there is much that can be done here. We are Americans. We are better than this. For starters, we need to raise the driving age to 21. Studies show younger drivers are more prone to reckless driving, speeding, driving drunk, and fatal car crashes. We need to fingerprint and run background checks on applicants for drivers licenses. If a person is convicted of a vehicular crime like drunk driving, manslaughter, or murder, or if they use a car in the commission of a violent crime, their drivers license should be revoked permanently. We should also work to eliminate high capacity vehicles, so when an accident does occur, fewer people will be injured or killed. We’re not talking about taking away your cars, here. Just common sense reforms that will save lives.

“Sports Cars”
If we imposed a national speed limit of 30 miles per hour think how many more we could save. Most cars are crash-tested rated based on 35 MPH impacts. Any vehicle with an air dam, fins, racing stripes, spoilers, or which is capable of driving speeds in excess of 35 miles per hour should be designated a “sports car.” These sports cars would only be allowed to be sold by Federally licensed dealers, and purchases would require that the driver register with the Federal government, pass a background check (meaning they were never convicted of a serious vehicular crime), and pay a tax of 5% of the vehicle’s sticker price of $2000, whichever is higher. The private sale loophole would have to be closed, to prevent private individuals from selling “sports cars” without a background check. We should also do more to prevent parents from acting as “straw purchasers” of “sports cars” for their college-aged kids.

Distracted Driving
We should also work to pass legislation to ban radios, televisions, GPS devices, and other tech that can distract drivers. Cell phone use and texting while driving should be a Federal crimes.

But…but…but…Guns Are Designed to Kill People!
But wait, the gun haters reply, cars are not designed to kill people, guns are! No, guns are designed to fire a projectile from point A to point B. Some people choose to misuse guns for crime. Some drivers do the same with cars. Honestly, who NEEDS a car that can comfortably seat seven and can travel faster than 30 miles per hour?

Falling
Falls account for roughly 25,000 deaths each year in the U.S., again, much higher than the rate for firearms. We should limit the size of people’s homes and the height of staircases. Who NEEDS a two story house, anyway? We need mandatory safety training for purchases of ladders larger than 5-feet tall. Homes with staircases higher than five steps would have to be modified to reduce the size of the staircases. You should have to pass a clumsiness test to be able to purchase a ladder. And, if we can’t ban them we should at least require special permits to allow people to go sky-diving, base jumping, para-sailing, and rock climbing. Trapeze and high-wire acts, like Cirque du Soliel should be banned. We should invest heavily in research to develop robots to replace window washers and other high-altitude repair and construction jobs.

Alcohol
Alcohol-related deaths number nearly 27,000 each year in the United States, nearly double the number for firearms. Yet alcohol is still legal in America. Why? Obviously if we ban alcoholic beverages we’d save lives and make our streets safer, right? Look how well it worked in the 1920s! But corrupt politicians, who cared more about alcohol than they cared about kids, gave in to the powerful alcohol lobby and ended prohibition. If we don’t have the political will to re-instate the Alcohol Ban, we should put common-sense alcohol controls in place. Alcohol retailers should be Federally licensed, and purchases should be registered and a background check required for each sale. If the background check discovers that the buyer has previously been convicted of an alcohol-related crime, like drunk driving, the sale should be stopped and the drinker charged with a Federal offence and sentenced to a 10-year prison sentence. Drinkers should be limited to one purchase per month or should have a five-day waiting period between drinks. High capacity bottles should be banned as well. Who NEEDS more than a shot of alcohol once a month?

Knives
13% of all homicides, roughly 2000 total, are committed with knives or cutting instruments. Clearly we are better than this. A legal age to purchase or own a knife should be set at, you guessed it, 21. Background checks should be required for anyone attempting to purchase steak knives, table knives, butcher knives, machetes, pocket knives, any fixed blade knife longer than 2-inches, pruning shears, and knitting needles. High capacity knife sets should be banned, and a five day waiting period should be imposed between knife purchases. Need a new set of steak knives in time for your big cookout? You’d better start buying them months in advance.

Drowning
Each year 3,500 people die from accidental drowning. We should set the legal swimming age at 21, require swimmers to provide proof that they have taken Federally approved swimming lessons before allowing them to swim in public pools or National Parks. We should create a national registry of pool owners and hold the pool owners criminally liable if anyone drowns in their private pool. We should impose a pool tax and require homeowners to take swimming lessons from Federally licensed professional trainers before allowing them to install a pool or buy a house with a pool. Pools with more than 3-feet of water should be restricted without a $200 per foot tax stamp. Bath tubs should be limited to depths of no more than six inches.

Fires
Roughly 2,700 people die in fires each year. It should be against the law to live in a home without fire extinguishers and fire alarms. The government should mandate that they be installed in all new homes. Perhaps we could add fire alarm installation to the government program that weatherizes older homes, saving lives and electricity. Some 450 people die each year in fires caused by smoking. Clearly we need to ban smoking in people’s homes. If it saves just one life, it’s worth trying, right?

Poison
Poisoning is the second leading killer in the United States each year, accounting for nearly 40,000 deaths. Interestingly, it’s not toddlers getting into the Drano under the kitchen sink, either. The vast majority of victims are between ages 25 and 45 and the poisons are drugs: pain medications, cocaine, and heroin. We need to ban cocaine and heroine, for one thing…oh, wait…

Buybacks
The Federal government could provide states and cities with funding assistance to run “buyback” programs. These programs would allow owners to sell their “high capacity” cars, “sports cars”, multi-story houses, and houses with swimming pools and get them off the market.

Abortion: The Biggest Killer
Of all the things this administration could do, banning or severely restricting abortions would be the greatest life-saver. Since the Roe v. Wade Supreme Court decision, some 55-million unborn children have been aborted. The vast majority of those, 99%, are elective abortions. 1.3-million children are aborted each year, only 13,000 of which are because of rape or incest. That means 1,287,000 children are killed for the convenience of the living. A Federal ban on elective abortion would save 1.2-million lives EVERY YEAR.

The Simple Truth
All but the abortion idea are put forth with tongue firmly in cheek. But the truth is that all of these suggestions, as crazy as some of them are, would actually save lives — and more than just one. An “assault weapons” ban and a “high capacity” magazine ban would not. In each case, though, the cost to our liberties is greater than the perceived good being done. Even in the case of Abortion. Abortion, like many other issues that the courts have corrupted, should be decided at the state level.

The “saving one life” theme is clearly the most simplistic, idiotic rationale for public policy every concocted. It has an emotional tug that shallow thinkers can grasp and agree with, without having to do deal with hard concepts like logic. Most liberals would reject my suggestions as needless government intrusion into our private lives, while failing to see that infringing upon our Second Amendment rights is just as needless and intrusive.

2 Responses to The Logic of “Saving Just One Life”

  • Skinnedknuckles says:

    Senator Christopher Murphy Press Release (Sarcasm Alert)

    Hartford, CT (2/25/2013) – At a press conference today, freshman Senator Chris Murphy (D-CT) will announce proposed legislation banning Assault Air Bags. His proposed Assault Air Bag Ban (AABB) is designed to get such dangerous explosive devices out of the hands of untrained citizens or prohibited drivers.

    Senator Murphy noted that Assault Air Bags were just designed to blow up as fast as possible and have no place on the streets of America. Law Enforcement Officers spend hours each day in their automobiles, exposed to extreme dangers, and need such dangerous devices to protect them from assault from private automobiles. No citizen needs such explosive power.

    Studies cited by Senator Murphy showed that two or three children every year are killed by improperly used Assault Air Bags. Senator Murphy’s proposed bill would forbid the manufacture or sale of any Assault Air Bag beginning with the 2014 model year. Assault Air Bags in private hands as of September 1, 2013, must be removed and surrendered to each state’s Department of Motor Vehicles or registered with the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives within 6 weeks of the start of the ban, along with the payment of a $200 tax and submission to a Universal Driving Record Check. In addition, owners of such gradnfathered Assault Air Bags will have to take a 40 hour NTSB approved safety course, be fingerprinted, and pay a $100 fee for an Assault Air Bag Carry Permit. Applicants with a record of DWI, speeding in excess of 5 mph over the speed limit, more than two domestic parking citations, listed as on the Suspected Cell Phone User List maintained by the FCC, or considered unsuitable by their local Chief of Police will be banned from owning grandfathered Assault Air Bags.

    The Senator’s statement noted that his Assault Air Bag Ban (AABB) will not prevent any traffic fatalities but something must be done to prevent the carnage that often occurs once or twice a year. If we can save just one child we must act, whether it helps or not

    Senator Murphy assured the press that he is a staunch supporter of the Safety Amendment of the Constitution and that the common sense actions included in his Assault Air Bag Ban (AABB) will have insignificant impact on Air Bag owners’ constitutional rights. He also noted proudly that his proposed bill is co-sponsored by other staunch supporters of the Safety Amendment including Senator Blumenthal (D-CT), Senator Feinstein (D-CA), and Senator Schumer (D-NY). The Senator said “The Founding Fathers had nothing more powerful than seat belts in mind when they wrote this Safety Amendment. They would never have intended for such powerful devices as explosive Assault Air Bags to be in untrained civilian hands.”

    (When ammo shortages cut into range time, this is what results )

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